When Laurent Attacks
by Sorcha123
Summary: Based in NEW MOON. spoilers obviously included.  Laurent attacks successfully in the meadow, the werewolves are too late... but what will happen now? i know there are a bunch of similar stories but i felt they skipped over they important bits COMPLET
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the books in the twilight series or any others… sigh!

Note: contains New Moon spoilers.

Bella the Bloodsucker

Laurent advanced. "It's nothing personal, really. I'm just thirsty and you smell so sweet," he said as a malicious grin spread across his face. "Besides, if you knew what Victoria had planned for you, you would thank me."

"Please don't do this." I took another step back and caught my foot on an open root. I hit the ground hard but the pain didn't reach me; I was too petrified of the death that moved closer and closer. His wicked smile spread across his face and his red eyes leered at me as he advanced. A pit really, the last thing I would see on this earth would be those harsh, bloodthirsty eyes. I longed to see Edward one last time, to feel his cool hand in mine, his loving embrace and his careful caress of his lips. I was about to die, why not wish?

I fought to get up, to escape, but deep down I knew it was pointless. Alice's words of warning drifted into my foggy brain: When we're that close our prey doesn't escape.

Laurent was on me the moment I hit the dirt. His cold lips reached my neck and I screamed as his teeth sank into my flesh. I felt his hunger as he drank and as my life began to slip away, I became curiously detached. I saw his head jerk up suddenly, his teeth bared. Blood spilled down his lips, staining his skin crimson. I was more surprised than relieved. What could stop him from feeding?

Suddenly Laurent was on his feet, backing away. He was staring into the encroaching forest in shock. Slowly, I turned. Had Victoria shown up? Was he passing me along? For some reason, I was insulted before fear took hold once more. What had her plans been? Would I still be conscious when she attacked? I turned slowly to see where my new threat was and froze.

A large wolf too big to be a wolf, leapt over me. As it soared through the air above my head, I heard a distant groan of horror. An un-natural wind blew my hair across my face. I turned to see Laurent had vanished. The massive black wolf tore off after him, followed by four others. They moved so fast they rivalled a vampire.

It took another 30 seconds for the pain to hit. The searing fire spread through my vanes slowly. I fell to the ground in a crumpled heap and was hit with another jolt of pain so fierce that I bellowed. My throat stung from such a scream, but that pain was lost in the fire that oozed through me with every beat of my heart.

I tried to console myself that it would be over soon; those wolves were no match for a vampire, no matter their size. My pain, and life, would soon be at an end. My every nerve screamed with me as I gasped for breath. Every movement sent a new ach through my body as I awaited death's return.

What could possibly take so long? Where was Laurent? I looked forward to his return as I begun to long for the relief from the fiery torture that only death could bring. I waited for what felt like hours for that elusive calm of death. It might have only been minutes.

I heard a distant noise, but it wasn't the gloating satisfaction I expected from Laurent. Instead, I heard weeping. I tried to turn my head and was attacked with another shot of agony. I screamed in pain and frustration. The pain exceeded that of my attack in Phoenix. Compared to the all-encompassing fire that burned its way through me, that was a mere paper-cut.

"Bella? Bella, I am so sorry," a voice wept beside me. Laurent surely hadn't developed a conscience, had he? A hot hand enclosed mine and I moaned at the pressure. My hand was released immediately, but by whom?

My view of the clouds was obscured by a red and blotchy face. Hot tears trickled down his cheeks and landed soundly on mine.

"Bella, oh Bella, I'm too late, I'm sorry!"

"Jacob?" I croaked, pain ceased my throat and I was struck dumb.

Tears of pain sprang from my eyes and left cool trails on my cheeks.

"Bella! Can you hear me? What's happening?"

I tried to reply, but as I began to move my lips, the venom finally entered my heart. A surge of white-hot flames surged through the depths of my chest. I screamed and jerked on the floor. Jacob looked petrified. When the pain subsided into the rest that wracked my body, I summoned enough strength to mouth one word.

"Venom" I breathed, and thankfully, he heard it.

"Venom? They're venomous? What's going on?" he looked incredulous. I had to explain, to ease his confusion.

"Laurent. Vampire. Venom. Hurts" I moaned and turned slightly, which sent new shock waves through me. I cried out again and Jacob's face looked pained.

"I know about the vampires, he won't be returning, don't worry about that." he paused. "What's happening to you?"

How could he know about the vampires? I tried to ask, but no sound escaped my raw throat but a dull scream. However, mercifully, he saw the confusion on my face. He turned away from me and panic lapped over me. I didn't want him to leave. Unthinkingly, I moved my hand to find him, but a jolt of pain stopped me from moving further. I needn't have worried as his face returned to my view with a look of determination.

"Bella, don't be afraid, we're werewolves. We were the ones who chased off that filthy bloodsucker. We know about them and protect people from them, but I had no idea - what did he do to you?" I was in too much pain to take in what was said. Dully, I remember acknowledging important information being passed, but I could not make sense of it. I knew he needed to know what was happening as I finally realised that Laurent would not be returning to finish the job.

"I'm changing," I rasped. "Venom changes, takes time" I managed. Shock flitted across his face, then comprehension.

"Shit! How long? His hands raked through his short hair, only now did I realise its absence. In my delirium, I giggled. It was strange to see such a harsh buzz on my friend. My laughter caused more pain and my face twisted as it coursed through my lungs. "How long Bella? Don't go hysterical on me!"

I regained most of my senses and managed to think.

"Three." my voice was low and hoarse. I would not me able to talk muck longer.

"Hours?" he qualified. I nearly laughed again, if only!

"Days" I moaned as the slow venom spread further. Jacob's face fell and contorted in an agony that matched my own in intensity. However, I knew his could not me physical.

"No, no, no, no. my sweet Bella, I am so sorry! If only I had gotten here sooner!"

"Hey, don't beat yourself up, it's not your fault" another voice drifted towards me

"Sam, how can I not? What am I going to do?" desperation flooded his voice. There was a silence as I writhed in pain on the ground

"I suppose there's nothing we can do. If she is turning into one of those leaches, we have to protect the people from her." his words were too jumbled to make any sense to me. They made sense to Jacob.

"No! We are not going to kill Bella, I can't!" I understood that! I didn't want to die, I didn't want to leave Jacob and Charlie and my mom. I wouldn't.

"Jake," my cracked voice was barely audible, but suddenly all eyes were on me. "I won't hurt people. Be like Cullens." the name ripped at my insides and its pain was added to the rest of the fire that burned inside me.

Jacob argued my point for an immeasurable amount of time. I zoned out of the conversation about my fate that buzzed around me and allowed the pain to consume me. It could have been minutes, or hours before I could recognize the bronze face of my friend. He wasn't crying anymore, and the look of triumph he wore gave me hope. I saw his lips moving and tried to find the words that hovered close to my head, but heard only my own slow moaning.

"Bella? Bella? A distant murmuring reached my ears. "Bella, you are going to be OK. It's been a day since that parasite hurt you. You are going to get through this." could it really have been only a day? I was conscious of a lightening sky, had night passed without my notice? Time seised to mean as I waited in agony. The venom seeped to the last inch of me, and suddenly, the pain intensified. All throughout my body, things were changing. My bones shattered at once and the scream of agony echoed off the mountains. I saw Jacob flinch and pull away, to return in the same second. He looked more worried than when he thought I would die. Every cell in my body felt like they were being sliced open. My humanity was stripped from me then as my body began to reform itself.

My whole body was on fire and lights danced in front of my eyes. This anguish lasted for hours as I watched the sun climb in the sky. I heard my heart pulse in my ears. It was deafening. I counted it out to distract myself. One, two, three. Four. Five… six… the gaps grew as my heart began to give up its struggle. I continued counting and barely noticed Jacob talking to me.

"Bella, it's going to be over soon. We're on the last day. It can't be long now. Just hang in there." but despite his words, my pulse kept hammering in my ears and I dared not hope for the promised relief. Fifty-eight, my heart continued. My wild gasps became shallower as I begun to need less air and the pain began to lessen its grip on me. As each beat of my heart became further apart, relief would taint the face above me, only to be taken over by frustration when it began again. I caught bits of conversation.

"Can't be long now."

"Do you have it ready?"

Was that it? Her last heart beat- no."

"It's been a minute, that must have been her last." eighty-two, my heart beat again.

"Damn it!"

My muscles began to spasm as the pain suddenly stopped; the freedom to move without pain was so overwhelming.

"Shit! She's having a fit! This can't be good." a worried voice drifted to me. My heart beat its last and my body stilled. The transformation was complete.


	2. Chapter 2

I opened my eyes once more and saw only the clouds of Forks. Carefully, I sat up and searched my surroundings for those who helped me. I recognized three faces - Jacob, Embry, and Sam - among two others near the trees.

"Wait," my voice was no longer hoarse. Only Jacob hesitated in the retreat.

"Sorry Bells, not sure if we can stay and guarantee your safety." Regret coloured his voice and the fierce pain of loss showed on his face. "We rounded up some animals for you, three miles due west" he indicated the direction with a shaky finger. The others shot him wary glances when he stopped moving away. They hesitated, wanting to protect their comrade. From me?

Then the stench hit me. An innocent gust of wind carried their scent into the meadow. Immediately, I went on full alert, not sure why. Then I realised what was happening.

"You guys stink!" I said without thinking.

"You're not so nice yourself." distaste saturated Sam's words and his retreat faltered. With a warning glance to Sam and the others, Jake returned his attention to me.

"We want to know, where are you going to go?" he asked in a clinical tone. That stumped me. Where could a vampire go? I knew I didn't want to kill humans, but also feared my lack of self-control. I would need help. I refused to force myself on the only vampires I knew. He didn't want me anyway. Where else could I go? No others were willing to feed on animals. Edward's voice drifted to me. Not the voice of my blissful hallucinations, but rather the dull echo of my memory.

"Denali." I voiced as realisation came to me. "There's another coven there that don't hunt humans." relief washed over all of us at my words. "Wait," I paused, "I don't know where it is." I turned back to Jacob, my savoir. "Can you look it up for me? Get me some maps? Help me plot a path there?" All eyes were on him as he spoke.

"Yes, I'll do what I can." he said with a smile. The pack's faces ranged from anger to concern and disbelief.

"How are you going to manage that, huh? You can't even stay within twenty feet of her.," a dark haired one grunted.

"Shut up Paul, we'll figure it out."

While they argued, I lost the ability to concentrate. I became aware of the gnawing thirst within me. I stepped back from the group. My movement drew their attention and they tensed.

"Blood." I excused myself and fled the clearing. I ran at top speed through the trees. The wind whipped at my face and my hair streamed out behind me. This was so much better than the motorbikes.

I caught the scent within two minutes of running. I did not stop, but rather, allowed myself to be taken over my me senses and increase my speed. I soared over the insignificant hill in front of me and landed on the animal. Briefly, I recognised it as a bear. Its roar of defiance reached my distracted ears and was cut off by a guttural choking sound. The animal fell to the ground with a loud thud. I drank thirstily. It was as if I had been in the desert for months with no water, here, now, the warm life giving liquid slid into me naturally. Only when I stood up from the dead bear did I realise what I had done. A monster lay within me, delighting at the fresh blood entering my system. It longed for more. I obeyed. The animals that had been gathered in this small clearing had no hope of escape. The brief cries of shock slipped into my brain, but remorse and guilt evaded me. I was still thirsty. I craved more than they could give me. I realised what my body wanted and finally my brain caught up. I looked at the dead animals lying at my feet and thought what I would lo to humans. I shuddered and backed away. I would not be this deplorable monster to my own heritage. I thought of my friends and family. How could I ever go near them? I could not risk their safety. No goodbyes were possible. I sank down onto a fallen tree and cried tearless sobs. I finally realised the other the utter loss that was forced upon me. It would have been more bearable if he were here, if he still loved me as I still loved him. Then all this would seem so much more manageable. At least then, I would still have love.

I sat there in the clearing with the dead and mourned what I had become. I remained like that for hours. Slowly, I regained control of my emotions and rose from my grief.

When I returned to the clearing, darkness had enveloped it. Yet I could still see clearly. At first, I thought it to be deserted. Then I caught his stench on the breeze.

"Hey Bells," Jacob said, stepping out from the shadows of an elm tree. I stopped in my stride abruptly. Just as he said he couldn't guarantee my safety, I now realised neither could I guarantee his.

"Hi." grief tainted my words. I would miss him.

He seemed o register my sorrow and took another step forward. "Don't" panic seeped into my voice and I held up a hand to stop him moving further.

"What?" confused as he was he heeded my warning.

"I-" it was hard to voice. Even as I accepted it, I did not want to tell him. "I'm," I paused, taking a deep, unnecessary breath. "I'm dangerous to you. I don't want to hurt you." it came out in a rush. Finally, he understood my sadness and gave me a small smile. It didn't reach his eyes.

"It's OK; I know what you mean." Defeat washed over both of us and we sank simultaneously to the ground.

"You really have to leave?" it seemed to hit him only now.

"You know I do. I can't be around humans, not yet at least, and your smell is so over powering I know I can't stay with you." I whispered. I was sure my dejected words would reach him easily.

"I suppose…" We sat in silence for some time, each staring at the other. I committed his face to memory and from the look of concentration on it, I thought he was doing the same with me.

"So, I suppose we should plan out where you are going." His voice rang out in the clearing and I stored it in my memory as well.

"You're right." though it pained me to admit it.

After hours of planning and arguing, he conceded to my plan of swimming most of the journey.

"But how ate you going to manage it? He countered.

"Well, I was always a good swimmer, with extra strength, it shouldn't be too hard. Plus, it's not as if I'll need to bob along the surface for air."

"Wait, you don't need air?" his words mirrored the shock on his face. I smiled.

"No, we don't need to breath; it's just habit." His eyes widened and the white of them contrasted madly with his dark skin. I nearly laughed in his face

"Um…" he faltered. "So what then?"

"Well, I need to find their house, and avoid humans." I was stumped at the impossibility of my mission.

"At least I can help you there." a sad smile lit his face. He couldn't help me so many other ways that he cherished the help he could give.

"I searched the address you gave me on the web," he paused to rifle through his bag of files and came up brandishing a map. We were still several feet away so he waved the sheet in the air.

"This is your destination," he said, pointing to a small marking on the centre of the page. "You will be approaching from about here." he indicated the general area of an icy mountain range. "There's only one settlement between the two areas and it's easily avoidable - here," he paused to pull out a high lighter and sketch a curving line from the bottom of the page to the middle, leaving a wide birth for the village. I could see the markings from where I was seated but Jacob moved to pass the map to me. I stiffened and he froze. Realisation was quickly followed by a fresh bout of pain. He sat back down and fiddled with the paper.

"Jake, I'm sorry -" he cut me off when he looked up with a wry smile on his face. He showed me the map again, only now it was a paper aeroplane. With a flick of his wrist, it soared directly to me. I caught it and hesitated. His smell permeated the whole sheet. I stopped breathing to open the map. This helped, he didn't seem to notice the sudden halt to my breathing. I glanced at the markings on the page and swiftly re-folded the page, tucking it into my pocket. "Thanks." I could only hope that by the time I looked it again, my scent would have masked his.

"OK, did you get everything I might need? I am sorry to trouble you with all this but-"

"Yeah, I have a change of clothes, some other maps of the coastline, and further in and some money." he paused "Bella?"

"Yes Jake?" I didn't like his hesitation. I thought we didn't hold any secrets any more.

"Well, what should I do with your car?" it's been on that road for here days now… "He let himself trail off, I hadn't considered my truck.

"You're right, how's Charlie?" I couldn't hold my curiosity any longer

"Well, he thinks you're missing obviously. There have been search parties, but so far, no one's found the truck. People think the 'bear' got you." The realisation of the mess I was leaving in my wake was overwhelming. I couldn't allow Charlie to worry about me for long. Nevertheless, would it be smarter if he thought I was dead? Not knowing would certainly be worse than either option. I had to decide what to do. Could he live with me simply running away? Would it be better if I seemed dead? The echo of loss that haunted me for so long at Edward's absence, I knew would have been so much worse if I thought he didn't exist in this world. If his face didn't shine in some far-off country, I would surely die, regardless of my immortality. I could not do that to Charlie, or Renee. But how to explain my absence? I couldn't tell them what I had become; that their daughter was a vampire. I would tell them I had to leave. I couldn't do this in person, for fear of their safety.

Throughout this internal battle, Jacob remained silent. Cautious to allow me to think things through.

"Thanks, I think I will have to phone home when I get there." my weak smile joined his and we sat together in the gloom.

I started. "Jake, do you have something to keep these maps in? Something waterproof, I mean." his brows furrowed

"No. I hadn't thought about it." Worry seeped across his face and I acted quickly to avoid destroying my friend.

"Don't worry! Go to my truck; my wallet's there. Take as much money as you need. Buy some bin liners in the local shop. It will be OK." I soothed. His face brightened immediately and he dashed off into the woods.

In his absence, I returned to my hunt. I was not half as thirsty as before, but I needed my strength for the upcoming journey.

I returned to the meadow to await his return.

I smelt him before I saw him. He slowed his run into a walk two hundred yards from me. His caution sent an ache through my heart. I stifled this for his sake. He laid the roll of black plastic in the grassy meadow and backed away. I retrieved it and set about pitting everything into the bag. When I finished, I looked up to see Jacob still standing solemnly in the clearing.

"I guess this is goodbye." his words drifted to me and if I could have cried, I would have.

"I so want to hug you right now." was my reply. With my sharp eyes, I followed the path of a tear down his cheek. "I love you Jacob; you are my best friend, always will be." I breathed the last words, but was sure he heard them. Jacob simply nodded. He blinked and fresh tears trickled down his skin.

"I know." he whispered back.

I slung the plastic enclosed rucksack over my shoulders and with one last doleful glance at my friend, I turned and ran towards the ocean, my hair streaming out behind me.

The silver moon in the night sky gave little light, but the stars were out in force. With their light, came hope. Hope that there might be reason for all this loss. When I got to the cliff edge, I didn't pause. No voice met me as I dove into the black, churning waters below. I was not in danger. The current could not hold me, nor did the icy waters hurt. I swam north, following the stars my dearest friend pointed out. Try as it might, the ocean could not hold me. I swam swiftly to my destination.

Fish gave me a wide birth, sea birds didn't venture near me. They needn't have worried. Just as their instincts told them that I was dangerous, mine told me they would not sustain me long enough to bother.

The sun began to rise over the horizon and I continued in my swim. If the light reached me, I would look like a glistening wave, nothing more. Recklessly as always, I ventured further north. Whenever the shore became inhabited, I would dive into the icy depths of the Pacific and continue in my journey.

I travelled like this for two days, venturing onto land for sustenance only. When I reached the end of my swim, I encountered my first polar bear. It was angry and tried to fight back. Made quick use of it and it gave me strength for my run.

Leaving the dying roar behind me, I ran up mountains. I was greeted with a wild blizzard, nothing could stop me. I had my destination within reach. I would not turn back due to some inconsequential snow.

Checking my carefully stored map, I skirted around the village and returned to my route. It took me an hour to search the area enclosed in the circle for the house. Jacob had given me a very accurate map. Silently, I thanked him again. After a while, I crossed a fresh trail. Only a vampire could smell so sweet. I was near. I followed it to a luxurious log mansion deep in the heart of the forest. It stood on stilts as most Alaskan houses do and the light in the window called me in.

I was suddenly nervous. What if these vampires didn't want me either? I could not allow myself to dwell on the thought. I marched up the front steps and knocked on the door. The resounding crack that echoed through the forest shocked me. Clearly, I hadn't gotten used to my vampire-enhanced strength yet. I stepped back, and the door swung open, light streamed out onto the porch, onto me.


	3. Chapter 3

The vampire in front of me was shockingly beautiful. Her long dark hair fell about her shoulders in waves, enhancing the glow of her skin and ruby lips. She stood tall and strong. She did not smile, but her warm topaz eyes told me that I had found them. Curious, she tilted her head slightly, taking in my appearance. I was sure I was a mess. I felt the twigs tangled in my own auburn hair and my dirty clothes clung to my body.

"Hello, who might you be?" her musical voice rang out clearly in the night. Dawn was soon approaching and she shimmered lightly. This warmth prompted my courage and I spoke.

"Bella." I finally said when I gained control of my voice. "Bella Swan."

"Well come in, Bella." she motioned with her hand for me to enter and followed me into the living room. "May I ask what you are doing here?" her kind voice held curiosity and wariness. Thought it was a question, I knew I needed to answer.

"I came here, seeking help. I - I need help." I hesitated, unsure how to ask, I never did like depending on others. "I'm new and I don't want to hurt people by mistake." utter disbelief flitted across her face only hoped she would see my sincerity. Brows knitted in thought, she motioned for me to sit. I obeyed and sank into a smooth leather recliner.

"How did you find us? And undetected I might add." she said half to herself.

"I was told about your presence when I was human; when I changed I knew this was my only chance to learn control."

"And where is the one that turned you?" she asked, her curiosity piqued.

"Dead, or more dead than before." I amended. Shock returned to her face and she tensed. "I didn't kill him!" I interrupted her thoughts. "He wasn't trying to change me; he got interrupted by a pack of werewolves." I added bitterly, still unsure if I would have preferred to die at his hand.

"Werewolves?" her eyes widened.

"Yes."

"And how did you get away?"

"I promised them I would only hunt animals." this was equally a promise to myself, but I did not tell this stranger.

"And they simply believed you?" she seemed suspicious of me, as if I were a trap. She flashed a glance out the window.

"One of the pack was a friend. " I sighed. "He argued my case, unwilling to kill me." I was aware of the sadness seeping into my voice, but failed to care.

"Would you have preferred if he hadn't?" she was interpreting every piece of information I gave her, analysing every word for hidden meaning. She interpreted my doubts well. I knew it would be difficult to keep secrets here.

I sighed. "When I realized that Laurent wasn't going to kill me, I chose life, or at least whatever there was of it left for me." but considering the loss I had to bear, I had become unsure of my decision. I did not tell her this. She looked incredulous.

"Laurent?" shock was clear and evident in her voice. I had forgotten he was a friend of the Denali Vampires. Regret coloured my next words. I hadn't meant to bring bad news.

"Yes, I'm afraid he's dead." she was silent. "He wasn't exactly as strict with his diet as you are." I added under my breath. She heard. Her eyes shone with anger as she glared at me, unable to voice her disapproval at my words. At that moment, another female entered the room.

"Hello." her silent question hung in the air as the dark haired one thought.

"Lynnette, this is Bella, she came for help controlling her thirst." the per functionary words were coloured with the choking tension in the room.

"Hello Bella." said Lynnette, with a flick of her snow-white hair. "Where is Edward?" she asked. The name sliced through me and I clung to my sides to hold myself together. Her innocent question left me unable to move. Eyebrows furrowed, she continued with her verbal onslaught. "You are Bella Swan, are you not?" I managed to nod. "Mate to Edward Cullen?" I grimaced. How did she know all this?

"Lynne, what are you talking about? Edward is with a human." she pulled a face.

"Tanya my dear, she is very new it fits. She certainly recognised the name, but her reaction…" she trailed off in confusion only to regain her confidence in the next instant. "Besides, how many Bella Swans do you know?" she offered with a raised eyebrow.

"Is this true?" Tanya was no longer angry. I nodded again. Triumph lit up Lynnette's face

"Where is he? I haven't seen him in ages!" the girls became exuberant. I shrugged and their excitement vanished.

"Left me." I managed to get out before shutting down completely. Their conversation continued on around me but I heard nothing.

Deciding I was in no fit state to discuss my past tonight, they moved me to a large guest bedroom. I lay curled on top of the linen for an unmeasured amount of time, unable to sleep, unable to wake fully.

Daylight was streaming in my window when Tanya re-entered the room. I was in the same position as when they left me. I didn't move when she sat next to me.

"So, you say you don't want to hurt humans?" she ventured after a moment of silence, clearly avoiding the more tangible tension in the room. I shook myself out of my nightmares. I couldn't sleep, but still images of that lonely forest invaded my mind. Even as a vampire I would never be free.

"Yes. I made a promise. I will not hurt a human." she seemed satisfied at my answer and continued.

"You have hunted on your way here." It was not a question. How could I not? "Do you need to hunt now?" I was grateful she did not bring up him again. I nodded. She smiled and took my hand. Whatever had passed between the vampires while I was unable to think must have meant my acceptance.

"Thank you. I'm sorry I'm not more… myself." she grinned at this.

"So you are usually more friendly then." she joked, and paused . "May I ask what happened?" she asked as we exited the house.

"I really can't talk about it right now." I said in apology. She shrugged, seeming content that I hadn't broken down again, and continued walking.

We reached a small clearing and I was hit with the sent of a grizzly. I took of at a run which was easily matched by Tanya. We leapt on the unsuspecting bears and drank greedily. When we had drank our fill, she turned to me.

"So Laurent is dead? I wondered did she believe me. I nodded and sighed with relief when she did not get mad. And you still can't tell me what happened with - " I cut her off.

"I will tell you when I can." I sighed, giving in. "I don't want to have to repeat this, so if the others need to know, you can tell them." She sat up, mutinying me to continue. I took a deep breath, steadying myself for the inevitable pain and began.

"We were together for a while. I thought he loved me." I paused, the weight of my words pressing down on me, constricting my throat.

"He did!" she interrupted, she stopped herself from arguing the point further when she saw the pain etched on my face.

"I thought he did, until he left. He finally told me what I always believed. I wasn't good enough to keep him. He got bored, and he loft." I finished bitterly. If only I had been enough. But an angel such as him can't be meant for me.

She seemed disbelieving. She was about to say something else, but thought better of it. After a long silence, she seemed to come to her conclusion.

"We will keep you safe here. We will be responsible for Laurent's actions. You will not hunt humans." she said this as a promise. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I held.

We travelled back to the house and when we reached its safety, I remembered what I had forgotten.

"Charlie." I breathed. How could I forget?

"Excuse me?" she said, turning to me, curious again.

"Uh, can I use your phone? I need to call my dad, stop him from worrying and hopefully avoid a nationwide search." I added the last to convince her of the need, not that I doubted that he would go that far. Still, she hesitated. "Please," I said, becoming frantic. How long had it been? I was about to continue my list of arguments for this but stopped when she gave me a curt nod. She showed me to a phone I could use. I punched in the number, but in my haste, I crushed the phone in my hand. I ventured back into the hall to find another and instead, found Lynnette.

"Hello Bella, what is wrong?" she asked with a slightly French accent. Her eyes burned with concern upon seeing my anxiety.

"I need a phone. I sort of crushed the last one, sorry." She smiled brightly and led me into another bedroom. We padded across the deep purple carpet and to a desk covered in black lace.

"This is my room. Here, I'll put it on speaker phone so you won't damage it." she giggled. She dialled the number as I called it out and left when the connection was made.

The phone rang once and was answered. Guilt flooded me as an image of a frantic Charlie, waiting by the phone floated to me.

"Hello?" a sleepy voice called. I recognised it immediately.

"Dad, I'm so sorry I left." I managed to choke out.

"Bella! Bella, where are you? What happened?" his hysterical voice cut at my heart.

"I'm so sorry C-dad; I had to leave. I -" what could I say? "I couldn't stay in Forks any longer. I had to get away from the memories." that should do. He knew how bad I had been.

"But where are you? I called Renee, you're not in Florida." I should have expected this, but it still hit me like a brick wall. The shock left me breathless. I had left so much.

"Mom," I breathed to myself.

"What? You're not in Florida," he paused. "Are you? Damn it, she should have told me you arrived!" he yelled down the phone.

"No, no, I'm not with mom." I interrupted his rant. "I'm - I'm in Alaska, I'm staying with some friends." that threw him completely.

"Who do you know in Alaska?" he sounded completely confused. I had to act fast. "I know them from Phoenix." I offered. "They moved here a year ago. We kept in touch… Don't worry. I'm fine. Everything's OK." I added half-heartedly. He seemed to accept this at last.

"You're really OK?" he sounded unsure.

I sighed with relief. "Yes, dad." I said, smiling now. I could still comfort him.

"Well good. But don't you dare do that to me again!" after worry and relief, came anger. His was a raging bull, fuelled by fear. "Left without a word, no word from you in a week! I was worried sick, you could have been dead!" he raged on for another ten minutes before running out of steam. This was the longest speech I had ever received from him. A sad smile pulled at the corner of my mouth as we said goodbye and hung up. My hand hovered over the machine in front of me, pondering how to hang up without breaking it.

The beeping stopped suddenly. I looked up to see Lynne standing in front of me with a gleam in her eye.

"Well, he wasn't happy with you," she teased. I looked down, ashamed and her teasing stopped. She stood, silent, comforting. "It's not your fault." she laid a hand on my shoulder. I ignored her words but refused to shake her off. It was nice o be cared for.

"I need to call my mom." I said, unable to think of anything else. Her natural exuberance picked up again and she smiled. In many ways, she reminded me of Alice, except for her clothes. Where Alice liked pastels, Lynne loved black. It suited her perfectly and though she was cloaked head to toe in black, she was never morbid.

I gave her the number with my head in my hands in preparation for the coming onslaught. When my mom answered, frantic as always, Lynnette silently left the room. I received yet more guilt for the worry I had caused. It took close to an hour to calm my mother. She was distraught, and I was wracked with remorse for leaving everyone in such unease. I cried tearless sobs when she finally hung up.

I felt a cool arm snake around my shoulders and gave in entirely to my grief. A new dawn had arrived when I was able to function again.


	4. Chapter 4

Lynne had left an hour, watching me tentatively on her way out. I heard voices arguing, curious, I ventured out of the room. I crossed the landing with all the silence of a vampire. Below me, I saw them.

"It just doesn't fit Lynne, she might be the Bella Swan whom we heard of, but her story's just not right," a brown haired vampire argued in a hushed voice.

"I promise you she's genuine." Lynnette voiced. "You didn't sit with her as she mourned the loss of her former life. I'm not even sure she wants to be one of us. She seems so depressed." she had an anxious look on her face.

"Which begs the question, what happened? She admits to being Edward's mate, why is she alone now? Did he leave her when she turned? Does he hate his own race so much?" she added, as much to herself than to Lynnette. At these words, Tanya strode into view.

"She says he left her, when she was human. Apparently he got bored of the relationship," she said without feeling or conviction.

"Edward got bored of his human?" the brown haired one asked. Lynne's face was an exact mirror of the other's shock. Suddenly, comprehension dawned on Lynne's face.

"Of course! He broke it off. I'm not sure why, but it makes sense." she said, adamant now that she was right.

"Oh, sure. Go on, explain, might Lynnette" the brown haired one scoffed.

"Shut up Irina. Do you want to hear my reasoning, or just your own voice?" Lynne retorted.

Silence.

"Well, she's clearly depressed. Recovering from not only the loss of her life, but also the loss of her mate. He left her for whatever reason - I don't think he would simply tire of her - and she hasn't recovered yet." Lynne said, with a sad smile on her face.

"This makes sense." Tanya allowed. "Either way, we aren't going to turn her away. She came to us for help in controlling her thirst and we will give it." Irina moved to argue but Tanya silenced her with her raised hand. "If you are so incredulous, you needn't help. However, do you want to knowingly send away a new vampire who doesn't want to hunt humans? Will you be responsible for the needless deaths that would incur?" She stared down Irina. Cowed, she conceded and slinked out of the room.

"This still doesn't quite sit right," Lynne admitted. "Maybe Edward's in danger. I don't' see why he would leave her otherwise. She doesn't seem like someone you get bored of." She added with a wry smile.

"I know what you mean." Tanya agreed. "I know I just said we would help her, and we will, I just worry as to why he left her…" I felt my heart tug in my chest and curled up on the floor. I had wondered that same thing myself in those long, cold months. What had I done to lose him? What had pushed him away? I knew I never deserved him, but why leave? He seemed adequately distracted with me. Why did he have to find other distractions? The truth hit me as it always did when I continued to think about it. I was not enough. Never had been. The hole in my chest ripped further, tearing me apart. At least before, when I lost the numbness, I had had Jacob. Now I was truly alone. For eternity. A small groan escaped my lips and someone was with me instantly.

"You heard." it was not a question. When I didn't answer, she continued. "Why did he leave?" Lynne's voice was kind.

"I was never enough." I surprised myself with my ability to communicate coherently. Her brows furrowed in disbelief.

"But he was happy with you. We all saw it," she said, shaking her head.

"I was a distraction," I continued, utterly amazed that I hadn't crumpled under the weight of the words.

"No." Tanya stepped in. "His piano was a distraction, you made him happy." she insisted.

"None of us had seen him as alive as when he met you." Lynne added.

"You asked why, I told the truth." I said, angry now. I stood up slowly, nobody moved to help me. They were right not to.

"I still think we should straighten this out with Edward." I cringed at the name, and nearly fell again. After a moment of puzzled scrutiny, they allowed me to pass. As I reached my room, I turned.

"Don't drag him into this. He won't care anyway." my dead voice startled them. I was used to my empty non-life long before I became a vampire. This was not so different.

The next few months went without incident; I would hunt every other day, phone my parents every Saturday, assure them I was still alive. However, phone calls became shorter and more per functionary. I could not tell them of my days here and, after a while, they stopped asking.

When I wasn't hunting or reassuring my parents, I was nothing. I lay in my room for hours, trying not to think. After three days of this however, Lynne stepped in. she refused to allow me to wallow and forced me to spend time with her sisters. We talked, watched TV and I discovered a large library, in which I often lost myself - although never in the romance section. All this kept me busy, but hardly entertained or satisfied.

The hours turned into days and the days turned into weeks, and the weeks accumulated into a mound of unused time. Throughout this monotony, Lynne and Tanya helped to teach me control. I rarely saw the vampire named Irina, and when I did, she gave me resentful looks and would turn away from me with a swish of her auburn hair. I asked Lynne about it once.

"Oh, that? Well you see, Irina has a thing for - him - " by now she realised the name brought me pain. "And I suppose she resents you for having had him." she told me, conspiratorially.

"I never had him. Not the way he had me." whenever I would say something like this, Lynne, and the others would look at me sceptically, but ultimately ignore it. This was no exception, and my deadpan voice didn't help soothe her cynicism.

This was all said as we walked back to the house from an exercise in control. I had been exposed to a bear, and was supposed to resist its blood for as long as possible. I lasted five seconds. Tanya assured me that I was improving quickly enough to satisfy her.

When we returned to the house, we were informed that an agitated vampire was on it's way. That was Irina's gift. She sensed when others were approaching. I baffled her on my undetected arrival - something that fuelled the fire of hate for me that burned in her eyes.

"I can't tell who it is, but they're agitation is clouding the rest of their brain." she said, frustration evident in her voice.

"How far away?" Tanya asked, authority rang in her voice.

"Fifteen minutes or so." Irina replied. "I know this guy, I just can't place him. He's too distracted."

"He? You are sure it is a male now?"

"Yes." Irina's vacant expression was unnerving.

Tanya took to her leadershi8p role well, acting instantly. This of course reminded me of Carlisle. Another pang of misery coursed through me as I remembered the family I had once longed to join.

"Bella, were you listening?" she sounded annoyed, breaking me out of my reverie.

"Sorry, what did you say?" I asked, dazed.

"I said, seeing as you are new, and less able to defend yourself, you will be at the back of the group. Just in case." frustration rang in every word. I took my time dissecting the information before I spoke.

"Do you think there will be trouble?" I was anxious now.

"Hopefully not. Irina said she knew him, but he is agitated…" she trailed off. I moved to the back of the room hesitantly.

Irina's eyes glazed over and everyone froze. "He's picking up speed." she mumbled. "Less than two minutes at his new pace."

"But h-how?" Lynne voiced, incredulous.

Blinking, Irina recovered from her trance. "He wasn't running before. He was hesitant. Now he moves quickly, faster than his former transport. Fast even for our kind." she looked worriedly towards Tanya. "He's after something."

Tanya paused, "OK, nothing's really changed. Stick to the plan." she glanced at me for a split-second and resumed her position at the door.

We waited in the hall for a minute and a half in silence. It was in this silence that realisation dawned. Had I ever confirmed Laurent's death? Had they merely scared him away? Maybe he was injured, not destroyed. He would be angry, agitated, murderous. I prayed I was wrong, even as fear buckled my knees and I fell to the floor, I prayed. What would he do when he was cheated of his meal? Would Victoria still want me? What would become of me? I thought of Jacob and tried to recall what had been said during my transformation. I cursed myself for not clarifying his death after the pain had receded. I took an involuntary step backwards.

I smelt the familiar sweet smell of the approaching vampire before any of us heard his steps. It was familiar, but was masked with rage and car fumes. He had been in a car and must have abandoned it when he caught a scent.

"Bella!" the intruder cried out.

My scent. I waited in shock, as everyone in the hall turned to stare at me. I wanted to live. The encroaching footsteps didn't halt. The door flew open with a loud crack of splintering wood. He was here.


	5. Chapter 5

The door swung open, and there, standing in the light with snow dancing around him, was my angel. This was one of my nightmarish dreams, I waited for the pain of loss to hit me, still staring at his face. I waited for him to vanish cruelly from my dream. He remained.

Lynne was literally jumping for joy and clapping her hands.

"Oh, Edward! We're so glad to see you again!" she thrilled.

The bronze-haired god ignored her petulant exuberance and stepped into the house. I remained speechless, all I could feel was the cold, hard tiles beneath me. In an instant he was holding he, lifting me to my feet. He held me at a distance, looking deep into my eyes for a second, only to wrap me tightly in his arms.

Confusion washed over me. Why was he here? Why now? I couldn't concentrate any longer. My arms snaked around him of their own accord. I buried my face in his chest and sobbed with relief. He held me tight for some time, kissing the top of my head sporadically. It took me a while for me to realize that he was talking.

"Bella, my sweet Bella, I've found you." He repeated these words over and over. Before they made any sense to me. I moved away from his embrace reluctantly to look into his pools of topaz.

"Found me? You left me." I said in confusion.

"I am so sorry for that. I thought I was doing the right thing." pain flooded his words as he spoke the words. I paused, stepping out of his reach.

"Why are you here?" my words, as hard as they were for me to utter, stung him. I didn't want to hurt him, my love, but I needed to know. Even as I knew it would hurt me, I needed to know.

He looked at the floor and took a deep, steadying breath. "I am here because I love you." his words made no sense to me. "I left you thinking I was finally doing right by you. I just couldn't stay away." he said, ashamed. "then, when I return, I discover you left. What happened to you? Who did this?" He turned to glare at the three vampires who had become my friends, I stiffened.

"What do you care?" he ignored my question.

"Who did this to you? They had no right." he growled at Tanya. I stepped forward, between the two.

"They did nothing wrong here. The one who bit me is dead. Mow answer my question, why are you here?" he seemed to snap out of his rage.

"Because I love you." he said it as if it was obvious. "I was an idiot to leave, I don't want to spend another minute without you." his smouldering eyes met mine. I wanted to believe his words, I needed to believe them. I couldn't.

"And what of when you leave me next time?" His brows knit together and he stepped closer to me.

"You're not listening to me. I love you. I will never be so idiotic as to leave you again." his eyes burnt with a sincerity I couldn't believe.

"You said you loved me before…" I trailed off sadly. The memories still tugged at the hole in my chest.

"And I left because I love you. I was a fool to think I could ever stay away." he stepped closer, his arm outstretched. His fingers delicately traced my jaw. I backed away; refusing to hope. Hope brings pain. He dropped his hand to his side.

"I knew if I were to return, I would have to beg for forgiveness for what I did. I am begging now." he dropped to his knees on the cold floor. "Can you ever forgive me for being such a fool?" his words and actions made no sense. He seemed to register my disbelief. "I hurt you too strongly," he sighed, "But I will not give up."

"But you don't love me. Why-?"

"I do! Isabella, believe me, I do. It was torture staying away from you. I've told you a million times how I love you, and I will say it a million more until you believe me."

"But - But when you left…?" I faltered.

"Bella when you are around for over a century, you have to learn to lie." this verbal dagger sliced through me and mangled my face. He watched as the pain wrenched through me.

"No, no! what I mean is - " he paused, frantically searching for words. "Bella, that day in the forest, when I told you those things, I was lying. It killed me to do it but I did." he paused to recollect himself. "When I tell you I love you it is nothing but the truth." I refused to believe him, I must be dreaming.

"This isn't real. I'm dreaming." I said, dazed, shaking my head. A sour look came over his face.

"I can see why you might think this is a nightmare. However, I assure you this is real." I laughed. I actually laughed. "Nightmare? If this were a nightmare, you wouldn't be here." I breathed with a half-smile.

"Excuse me, sorry for interrupting this touching moment, but why did you leave her - hurt her - only to return?" Lynnette voiced my unasked question.

His eyes never left mine as he spoke. "I left you, because I thought it was best. I couldn't put you in any more danger. I couldn't risk your soul." he added bitterly. "I have given up trying to be good. I can't stay away from you. Ultimately, I am a selfish creature; I could only ever put myself through such pain for you. I could only ever tear myself away from you to save you."

My resistance crumbled, and I sank to the floor. He reached out again and I didn't shy away this time. He pulled me onto his lap and wrapped his arms around me tightly, locking me to him. He kissed my forehead, my cheeks, he held my hand to his face and kissed my fingers, my palm, my wrist. I smiled duly at him and he paused.

"What's wrong?" concern was held in every word, every inch of his face; the face of a worrying angel.

"I just can't believe this is real. It seems too much like a fantasy." I breathed, not moving my eyes from his face.

"It's real. I promise you it's real." he flashed his crooked smile." only in reality could I mess up so severely that I would have to grovel on my knees for forgiveness." I smiled at his joke, but it didn't touch my eyes.

"Let me prove to you this is real." he murmured. He took my head in his hands and leaned in. our lips were so close, his breath tickled my skin. I pulled back and he froze. "Have I hurt you so badly that I cannot be forgiven? If so, I will leave you in peace. It will kill me to do so, but I will do anything for you."

"It's not that. I'm afraid." I whispered back.

"I cannot blame you, I am a monster." he said, still holding me.

"You are not a monster." I paused, collecting myself. "I am afraid that when you go I won't be able to handle it again. I know I won't if you kiss me." I added sadly.

He smiled, his golden eyes brightening immediately. "I will never leave you again." and with that, he pulled me closer and our lips met. It wasn't the careful, chaste kiss I was used to from him. A jolt of electricity coursed through me when our lips met. We moved together, unable to speak any longer. Despite myself, I didn't hold back. I wrapped my arms around his neck and raked my fingers through his hair, pulling him closer. I felt his hands on my back; they trailed the length of my spine repeatedly. We broke apart for a quick second.

"I love you, Bella," he murmured against my lips. A chill ran through me and I pulled him back to kiss again.


	6. Author's note

**Author's note:**

I know a few people are asking me to continue this story, I don't think I can. I would like to continue as I really am proud of it so far, but I don't see where else it could go. The story has come to an end. I am sorry for that. If you think of any sequel ideas, I would be happy to explore them if I can. Please feel free to send me messages about this.

Another thing, some of you have asked what powers I have given Bella. I HAVE given her several small powers that I hinted at in this story. For those of you who missed the hints I will explain. Bella can Smell more powerfully than other vampires. this is due to her ability to smell what others can't when she was human; blood. This is a minor power, and not a gift. She has two gifts in my story. If I continue the story I do not want to ruin the surprise. I will post them here if and when I decide not to continue; do not worry.

PS. I am sorry for using a whole chapter for this author note. I know how annoying it can get when you expect a story. Sorry!

PS so i think it is time that i tell you what her powers are... sorry for no more story... i tried an epilogue but i thought it took away from the original ending...

1.she doesn't need human blood as the other vampires do, this is due to her extreem aversion to it as a human canceling out the vampire blood lust. humans are safe from her!

2.she will be able to discern (possibly by seeing a different aura) who is otherworldly and technically a mythical creature. this might not be so huge when she could tell as a vampire by smell etc, but she will also have a sort of radar for them as she seemed to be drawn to them naturally in her human life.


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